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Well if there's a light at the end of the Tunnel, then it must be awfully far away. The Tunnel has many twists and turns, and it's quite easy to lose your way. All I see is darkness, and all I have is trouble and such a burden is my loneliness, that it's impossible to find. Many are the cave's surprises and mostly they're the deadly kind. There's a legend of a man with a lantern. With it's light he can show true the way. Many are the rewards if you find him. They say he'll never let you stray. And there were times I thought I had seen him around the corner, through the edge of my eye. It's strange how he always eludes me, yet somehow I believe he still guides. I remember the light so clearly, and think about it all of the time. I envision it there before me, in all its warmth, splendor and glory. Many times I'd thought that I'd found it, and all the things it promises. Then I'd awake to watch it fade away, become a shadow as the morning takes shape. I reach out in every direction, but all I touch is dirt or emptiness; The dust of the Earth -the cold of space. Well if there's a message in all of this struggle, a purpose, perhaps some pattern to the way... Then it's all hidden from my eyes. But there must be a key to the puzzle. I've heard it said (though there's no one to say it) that the light at the end of the tunnel is but a myth. Even that there is no end at all, and ravings that the light is death. That all I believe is truthless, and all things known are falsehoods. And all that I am working for doesn't really matter. Should I live for a lie? Many are the tunnel's dangers. Be glad just to be alive. There are tales of those who have made it, and trails blazed my those who have failed. Many are the regrets if you wrongly choose, and the odds are by far against you. There are times when I'm seized by panic. Against all reason, I try to get back. All I see is darkness, and all I have is trouble. Oh, for a touch of kindness... I believe in such as miracles. It's strange how the past still pursues me. Seems I'm the last to leave things behind. I keep my faiths and hope always, though some of them have withered with age. I think of those who came before me, And those who may well write the next page. How meaningless it all seems in the long run, The Fate of any one. Yet in the eyes of each, tis He who really matters. It is well known that the well trodden paths are best avoided; "Follow not the crowd.", they all say. Now and then the wind will sing to me familiar woeful melodies, and whisper of the weeping skies outside, and the heartless prowlers of the night. Ever changing in size, shape, and direction, The Tunnel indifferently and unpredictably alters its invisible face. -Warm to cold, hard to soft, cramped to vast. Hours, even days may pass when I remain motionless; Despairing and weary, wishing never to have been. Too busy crying and stubbornly denying unpleasant but obvious truths. Being mindful of the tears, a blindfold worn for years. The way is said to be a simple one. There is a need to be free of the need to be. The heart can oft' through darkness lead truer than the eye can in brightness see. At times life seems useless and infinitely unfair, and things are never as I wish them to be. Feelings come from nowhere, and freely return there. Things seem to go wrong intentionally. So very long is the test of The Tunnel, and it hurts me every step of the way. There's many chances to learn and grow so it might all be worth the pain. Why do things need to have a reason? I wonder, have all happenings a purpose? Perhaps it's not that way at all. I ponder these thoughts as I walk along. Never any nearer to the answers, I fear I will travel ignorantly. After all, I have no way of knowing. In here I battle the dark side of me. Many are the hiding places, but I find myself out every time. There's a lady from the land of the shadows. who can keep you from making it through. Mistaking her sweet fragrance for that of the outside, you follow. She can't be seen but the dance she knows, so understand, she'll wrongly lead you. She plays the game so she won't be alone. It's strange how she still can confuse me, but after all, I'm hopelessly lost. I'm aware of a light within me. It's shining brightly all of the time. If only it would shine out from me, I'd be telling a happier tale. I've dared to dream of freedom, but the waking brought me so much pain. To be among the living and see, and then, suddenly, to be in darkness again. Yes, if there's a light at the end of the Tunnel, then it must be very far away. The Tunnel has many twists and turns and it's quite easy to lose your way. All I see is darkness, and all I have is trouble And all that I was looking for was the perfect lover. Men, we are, the caves remind us, not supposed to be alone. But day after day goes by. Not one with out a bitter cry. Memories burn through the night and I see no end in sight. An up-hill climb in every direction. I leave behind treasures too weighted to carry. Paying for crimes of cruelty and passion. Praying for time to pass quickly. Hell is where I fight. Back again is the Devil. When I dust become, he'll be at my grave. Eternal, his fire pits will burn, and once inside there is no escape. Oh, to be above all this... and all I need is in me. What a strange thing love is. It can imprison or set free. Many are the slave's excuses, but faithless, faceless darkness is all he can see. - Christopher Cooney (July 1986) Copyright 1986, all rights reserved. |
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