"Sideways-Flying Jets"

2002

January

January ~ 01/09/2002 ~ Wednesday

“Sideways-Flying Jets” [A series.]

Act 1: “Moving In” I'm in a house, in the kitchen. I think it’s my house, but I don’t recognize the place. Either I just moved in, or I’ve been away for a while and just moved back. I'm going around, straightening up. I may be packing or unpacking. I find a rack that might me a good place to set a dish up on its side. There are several dark dishes set out, lying flat. It seems somebody started setting up for me. There s also other kitchen stuff and there are decorations I set one dish up on it’s edge and discover that there are little grooves or metal wire rails there to support dishes for display. It stands up very straight. I set three in that spot and it holds them perfectly. There are places for several more. I put more up and walk around the kitchen table to get another. Then I wonder if I should use a whole different set of dishes –maybe those nice dishes that Diane gave me. Then I could leave the black ones on the table and use them for eating. I look across the room. I see stuff. I don’t think I can find that set. [I wrote “I wake” but that doesn’t seem right.]

Scene 2: “The Kids” I walk through the living room. There are 2 children sleeping on the floor. They have pillows and blankets. I think that there is a third child (maybe on the couch). I think the 2 are boys and the third, a girl. One boy wakes up and asks a question. I stop to answer. I’m trying to get to the next room, but he is telling me not to eat his candy. (How rude.) I think, “In this house, I’ll eat what I want.”. The second one wakes up. They are both being pests. I realize that I don’t have to argue with them. “Now, knock it off –both of you! Go back to sleep.” They do. I proceed into the next room to do what I wanted to do.

Act 2: “Packing Up” I’m in my parents’ house, cleaning up or packing up. There is a truck behind the house and another beside the house (on the opposite side of the house from the driveway). I come from a back room and see many dishes and bowls etc. lined up in rows on the dining room floor. “Oh, they’ve been here for a long time.” I’m surprised that they never complained. I start packing them. I put as small bowl inside a medium sized bowl and them into a large bowl, with wrapping in between. Then I put them into a plastic bag. If I keep doing this, I’ll be able to fit them all into just a few boxes. I put a box in the truck beside the house. There are several boxes along the wall to my left. //

Act 3: “Getting Lost” I get very confused. I wander the streets, lost. I run into someone. [It’s foggy here.] He either knows me or befriends me. We walk a while and meet up with his friends. I am introduced to his friends. The group takes me in. I think I may history with one of them (friend or rival) but I can’t remember. It’s not important now because things are different. We do more walking. /

Act 3, scene 2: At some point, I am very attracted to one of them. She is a very cute, blonde haired girl. We have sex. //

Act 4: “The Wife?!” I’m back at my parents’ house, in Maple Shade. I’m very confused. It seems that I just got here. I can’t figure out how long I’ve been gone and I don’t know where I’ve been. My wife is here. [!] She is just a little shorter than me, slim and pretty with long straight hair. Sometimes it looks brown. Sometimes, it looks a little blonde. Maybe it was highlights or streaks of gray. Maybe it was just the light. She’s upset. It seems that we have been separated. I don’t know why or for how long. Actually, I don’t even know her. I don’t remember our marriage. I don’t know who she is. I don’t even know her name. I can’t remember anything about my life beyond the last 4 hours or so. Oh no… I was with that girl! I didn’t know at the time that I was married. Now that I know, I want to make it work. I want to patch up whatever caused the separation. If I loved her enough to marry her before, there must be something about her. I want to try, but I have to tell her about the girl. Separated doesn’t excuse it. I tell her. It is the last straw. She’s done. She’s leaving me. She starts packing her things. I try to talk to her. She doesn’t want to listen. / A little while later, in the bathroom, I try again to talk to her. / A few people come in. They are some of my new friends. Now I realize that these people are her friends. I say to one of them, “You should talk to her; she’s your friend.”. He says, “Yes.”, and they talk. I leave the room. / For hours, I go around the house, going about my business. A couple of times, I see her in the bedroom, crying. A few times, our paths cross and I try to say something to her but she blows me off. When I try to approach her, she backs off and gives me that “Don’t you touch me!” look. What can I do?

Act 4, Scene 2: “My Publications?” I’m told that there are people out front that want to talk to me. They have questions about my magazine. I don’t know what’s in my magazine! What am I going to tell them? I didn’t know that I had a magazine, and I don’t even know what it’s about. Apparently, I’ve also written 2 books and I can’t even remember what they’re called.

In the bedroom, I try again to talk to her. At this point, I think my only hope is to try to explain to her that I don’t remember anything but the last 4 hours, but I get even more confused. Is it the last 4 years that I can’t remember? No. More than that is missing. I think the marriage goes back more than 4 years. She’s not buying this and she doesn’t like what she’s hearing, but at least she’s still listening, so I keep talking. I tell her that I don’t even recognize her. I want to and I’m trying to remember… but she won’t listen to any more. She’s done. She’s out. We’re done. This is terrible. What can I do? /

Act 4, Scene 3: More avoidance, more crying. She won’t even look at me now. Oh, oh… that U-Haul truck that I had behind the house for a long time… it’s not still there, is it? It’s been at least a couple of months (possibly years). That would be quite a bill (if it’s not reported stolen by now). I look. No, it’s gone. Actually, come to think of it, I think I remember returning it. The other truck is still here. I think I go and check on the boxes I had put in the truck earlier.

Act 4, Scene 4: “Semi-lucidity” This is just too strange and confusing. Maybe it’s a dream. Yes, that would explain some things. Hey, if it’s a dream, I can control things –change things. Maybe I’ll go outside and fly for a while. That would be nice. I realize that I’m a little chilly. If I’m going to fly, I should find my coat first. I go looking for it. I get distracted a couple of times. [My lucidity fades.] She walks back into the living room. Maybe now I can finally make her listen to me. I make her sit in the chair next to the china cabinet. I get close to her face and look deep into her eyes. They change. They are blue, but a plain, flat blue –lifeless. She doesn’t look real anymore. It gets worse. I say, “You’re a fake!”. I step back and now she is an inanimate doll-like thing. She looks like she’s made of wood. Oh no! This is even worse. What now? Fly.

People just don’t turn to wood. I must be dreaming. I may was well go fly.

Act 5: “Lawn Party” Somebody tells me that there are people outside and says, “I guess they knew.”. I go out front. There are three or four people camping out on the lawn. Someone is sitting on the top step, to my left. I step down and turn to look at her. It’s Merrie. She stands. She says, “I’m here in the spirit.”. She smiles and then says, with a giggle, “Third time this month!”. I start to wonder, if I’m dreaming or dead. It’s getting kind-of creepy. No, I don’t think I’ve died. I hug her. I kiss her. I say, “I love you.”. I hold her close for a minute.

Now I see another girl on the steps. She is on the bottom step (and to my left, as I am now facing toward the house). It is another former girlfriend. I also have deep feelings for her. She stands. We talk. It is Merrie (again). Something is different about her, but it’s Merrie. I hug her, kiss her, and tell her that I love her.

I turn around to see who else is there. Now, there are many people here. They are walking around and talking and drink beer. It’s a regular party. Again, some of my new friends are there. They introduce me to several people, most of whom I don’t know, but some seem very familiar. Someone hands me a glass for beer. Many of them look like hippies from the 60’s. I walk around, greeting people and shaking hands. This is all very “trippy”. I begin to think that they may be having and acid (LSD) party. I haven’t taken any, but I do seem to be along for the trip. That would explain a lot. I think that maybe I shouldn’t drink from that cup. The beverages could be laced.

Someone is going to walk to the store and asks if I want anything. I don’t. I wonder if I should go along and see what happens, but I stay there. I see some empty beer bottles by the house, although most of them seem to be getting put away. I pick some up and start to walk to the recycle bins that I expect to be beyond the truck (beside the house). There is a short brick wall, supporting a flower garden. A guy is sitting on it. I walk behind him. He asks if he can take them for me. I guess that he has been cleaning up. I tell him that I’ll take them back myself.

Act 6: “Sideways-Flying Jets!” Beside the house, I hear a loud noise in the sky. I turn around and look up. Someone says, “It’s flying too low!”. I see a huge jet flying toward us. It is huge. It is obviously military and it is flying way too low. Worse, it is flying sideways! Now I’m really scared. I wonder if it will crash into us. If it does, we’ll all surely die (if we’re not dead already). It passes overhead. Then others follow. Many massive fighter jets fly over us –all moving sideways. I think, “That’s way too many sideways-flying jets!”.

I try to get behind the house. Maybe a house could stop one. No. It probably will not, but I have to try. I can’t get behind the house. I go behind the house next door. I see people running away through the back yard. It seems hopeless, but I forsake the house and run away too.

Act 7: Everything goes away. I seem to have entered a building. I’m in a huge square room. Everything is white. Everything is square. The ceiling is many squares and keeps changing. Soon, it doesn’t seem like I’m in a room or even a building. There is nothing but squares. I gain consciousness as I look at those squares. [Then I become aware of my surroundings. I feel the texture of the couch beneath me. I open my eyes. I still hear the sound of the roaring jet engines. It is the heater.]